Yesterday I had a chance to conduct a workshop called “Raising Him Alone: Single Moms Raising Boys.” It is a broader piece of our work understanding that if we are going to move the needle in building the capacity of responsible fathers, that it can’t be done without the cooperative desire of moms. Much of what we think about with respect to both moms and dads press the edges of truth. The notion that moms don’t want the involvement of dads, isn’t true. The notion that dads don’t want to be involved with their children; not true. Both of these notions are for the most part.
What we do know about parenting is that it is not meant, nor designed to be done alone. The very make-up of both men and women are intrigue components to raising healthy and whole children.
We are faced with a lot of challenges when it comes to co-parenting. Much of it can be solved, strengthen and encouraged if we seek ways to educate both moms and dads about the importance of their shared responsibilities as parents. Yeah, they each might say they know the responsibilities. However what they may not know is how the other person sees, values, understands and interprets those responsibilities. Which is for the most part, the unresolved problem.
Conducting this seminar began with Fathers Incorporated wanting to share what we know about how fathers feel and think. Some of it is designed to just give some insight on why men/fathers do what they do. However, what we continue to learn in doing this work is that we learn more than we teach. So much so in this class that we have changed the name of our seminar from “Raising Him Alone” to “Standing In The Gap.”
It is always made clear to us that “no man/woman is an island.” Nobody does anything alone. In the case of single mothers; while they may live separate from dad, that’s not always an indicator that dad isn’t involved or the degree to which he is involved. “Single Mom,” only denotes martial status, not parenting status. Thus for every Single Mom, there is a Single Dad. The question, challenge and work is in identifying; WHERE? Once we are clear on the answer; we can then begin on addressing the “Gap” between moms presence in the life of their children and dads presence in the life of their children.
These women blessed my heart yesterday in ways they will never know and understand. This is the work for me that is about my Fathers Business. Fatherhood is Family and if I ever expect to impact the lives of our children; Motherhood has to be equally important to my ministry. I love my DADS to pieces and work everyday build their capacity. Moms are incredibly amazing as they stand in the gap of their personal father absence issues. Our children deserve you BOTH! It is the mission of Fathers Incorporated and the ministry of Kenneth Braswell to work to ensure that every child has the ability to be fully loved, honored and supported by both their Moms and Dads equally, but more important; TOGETHER.
