Tag: Success Sequence
What Does Cohabitation Data Tell Us About Fathers and the Success Sequence?
The Success Sequence largely focuses on milestones — education, work, marriage, and children. But families live in the gray areas around those milestones. Dating becomes cohabitation. Cohabitation becomes marriage. Cohabitation sometimes becomes parenthood before marriage. Sometimes cohabitation ends. Sometimes marriage ends. Sometimes two people stop being romantic partners but remain parents for the rest of their lives. Sometimes another partner enters the family system.
The work of fatherhood often happens inside those transitions.
The Success Pathway: A Model for Moving Forward From Wherever You Are
The Success Sequence and this alternative — the Success Pathway — don’t have to compete. One can focus on prevention. The other can focus on progression.
For a 16-year-old, we can say, “Think carefully about education, employment, relationships, and when you become a parent. These decisions matter.” And for a 36-year-old father whose life did not unfold in that order, we can say, “Your decisions still matter.”
That may be one of the most important messages family-strengthening programs can offer. Your life isn’t over because the sequence wasn’t followed.
Where Does the Success Sequence Leave Everyone Else?
The traditional Success Sequence is largely prospective. It tells someone standing at the beginning of adulthood: Here are decisions that may increase your likelihood of economic stability.
Fatherhood and family-strengthening work is often responsive. We meet people after some of those decisions have already been made. The question is no longer simply: “What sequence should you follow?” It becomes: “Given where you are today, what decisions can move you toward greater stability tomorrow?”
Success can’t simply be a reward for people who made every decision in the right order. It must also be something people can move toward from wherever they are.