By Darrell V. Freeman

I was thinking, do dads get back what they give to their children, or is it just in vain? Well, good news is good news, and you will learn what to do with the rest.

It is important that those who want to someday be fathers, and even those that are fathers, need to consider some things. One thing, is that children don’t usually forget, and they have good memories. As a father of four, I know; and if you only knew the things that they have told me through the years, and even until today, about yesterday. There are times when I just sit back, and respond to my children by saying things to them like: what, for real, no, are you serious, stop playing, did I really say that, did I really do that, and you remember all of that. Their response is, of course I do. Today, they are all grown and young adults, however, we spend good time reminiscing about their past. We talk and share about the good times and the difficult ones. The fun times and the sad. The healthy times and the illnesses. The proud times and the disappointments. The wonderful times and the painful. No matter what, there are times that made impressions on them, one way or another. I’m sure it is the same with yours.

You give it, you get it back; however, don’t give it in a positive way and there is no telling what you will get back. Be sure as a father, that you attempt to make more positive things happen than negative ones; because in the same way the positives come back the negative ones can come back too. For example, if you drive a car and throw things out the window, your child may think that that is okay. When truthfully, it’s called littering, and it is against the law. If you take trash out of your car and put it in a trash can, then they will remember that as something good and positive. Or, if you read a book every time you have an opportunity to do so, they will remember that. If you only read the daily newspaper and nothing else, then they will remember that. Reading is a good thing. Reading books that help you to gain knowledge, learn, and grow will take you places and help you to accomplish much. A good father should want to give the skill of reading to his children.

I suggest that you take a few minutes and ask yourself a few questions, like:

  • What have I given my children to remember?
  • What do I want my children to remember?
  • What am I doing now that I can change, fix, undo or redo?
  • Do I need help raising my child/children?
  • Must I do it all, just because I am the father?
  • Have I done enough?
  • Will what I haven’t done come back to haunt me and hurt my children?

It is to your advantage that you know that something is coming back to you, whether you like it or not. So, think about the things that you do or do not do with or for your children early. Ask yourself, what kind of father am I?

Things that come back

  • Bad attitudes
  • Disappointments
  • Ignoring things and letting things go
  • Fussing
  • Fighting
  • Disrespect
  • Smart mouthing
  • Distance
  • The Unexpected
  • Lack of Growth and Development

Things to get back

  • Respect
  • Love
  • Kindness
  • Politeness
  • Good attitudes
  • Happiness
  • Little to no arguing
  • Little to no mouthing
  • Closeness
  • Growth

Things to remember

  • Your Child Needs You
  • Your Child Expects from You
  • Your Child Grows as You Grow

Take your life and the life of your children seriously. You are being looked at (watched, observed and monitored) daily by your children. Think early and ahead of time, so that you can make it work for you and your child.

Yes, it is very possible that you get back what you give out.

Fatherhood Resources:

www.dadspadblog.com

www.fathersincorporated.com

www.realdadsread.org

www.atlfatherhoodexpo.com

www.atlantafatherhoodnetwork.com

Posted by Fathers Incorporated

Fathers Incorporated (FI) is a national, non-profit organization working to build stronger families and communities through the promotion of Responsible Fatherhood. Established in 2004, FI has a unique seat at the national table, working with leaders in the White House, Congress, U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, Family Law, and the Responsible Fatherhood Movement. FI works collaboratively with organizations around the country to identify and advocate for social and legislative changes that lead to healthy father involvement with children, regardless of the father’s marital or economic status, or geographic location. From employment and incarceration issues, to child support and domestic violence, FI addresses long-standing problems to achieve long-term results for children, their families, the communities, and nation in which they live.

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