by Kenneth Braswell

Some years ago I purchased a pair of shoes that I absolutely loved. Every time the heel would wear out, I would go and get it fix. When the sole developed holes, I would go and get them repaired. The shoes were just my size and my toe; just at the tip. Often times when I made a quick stop, my toe would jam up against the shoe. Yet, no matter how much my foot would hurt, how much money it cost to get it repaired or how old fashion the shoe looked, I found it hard to let go.

One day, I was running to catch a bus and because the front of the sole began to flap, it caught the ground, tripped me up and I hit the ground. Embarrassed, hurt and frustrated, I picked myself up, dusted off my pants and continued my day. When I got home that evening I said “good-bye” to my favorite pair of shoes. However, unlike in the past, when I would just place the shoes in the back of the closet and disposed of them at the next move; this time I actually threw them in the trash. What was different about this time or these shoes? Nothing! What changed? Me!

I realized at that moment that even though I loved those shoes, their usefulness had expired. Many times over these shoes gave me every indication that a fix would not work. However, my inability to part ways and my unyielding desire to not give up on them resulted in me being hurt. Reality finally set in and said; “this time a simple repair will not restore the past glory of what you these shoes once had”.

In life we create relationships. It’s a natural occurrence to want to, and in many ways we need to be in relationship with one another. As a result of being comfortable or just settling we fail to be honest about when a relationship is just passed its due. Much like in the case of my shoes, in many relationships, it is the act of being hurt that forces us to reexamine the purpose and necessity of a partnership. Varying degrees of hurt, often dictate the priority of reexamination and the readiness to be real with ourselves.

Fortunately shoes don’t have the same emotional impact as people. The decision to part ways often demands a deeper level of commitment to reconcile your personal sanity with desired outcomes. The tossing away of my shoes in the trash released me from the temptation of knowing that I could always go into the closet again to revive them. Sometimes, when it’s over, it’s over.

People come into your lives for many reasons. Some of those reasons are just for a season of usefulness. It can be quite hard to tell the difference or to determine how long the season. For many; a season can last a lifetime and for others; just the right time. A new season may not begin until your right time reason has ended. So listen to your internal clock, the ticks of time and the sounding of the alarms. Those old shoes you’re wearing may be comfortable; been good to you and maybe even helped you travel through some rough times.

But now it is time; to KICK those shoes to the curb.

Bad habits, problems, drama, issues, concerns, obstacles, hurdles, barriers, addictions, greed, hording, selfishness can all be reasons you won’t let go. But there is something anew out there for you. Something; waiting for you to let go of a familiar situation and step into a new season. There is a destiny with your name written ALL over it. However you will never experience it wearing shoes that have lost their usefulness.

Posted by Fathers Incorporated

Fathers Incorporated (FI) is a national, non-profit organization working to build stronger families and communities through the promotion of Responsible Fatherhood. Established in 2004, FI has a unique seat at the national table, working with leaders in the White House, Congress, U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, Family Law, and the Responsible Fatherhood Movement. FI works collaboratively with organizations around the country to identify and advocate for social and legislative changes that lead to healthy father involvement with children, regardless of the father’s marital or economic status, or geographic location. From employment and incarceration issues, to child support and domestic violence, FI addresses long-standing problems to achieve long-term results for children, their families, the communities, and nation in which they live.

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