By Kenneth Braswell, CEO, Fathers Incorporated
I’ve spent the better part of two decades talking about fathers. Fighting for them. Listening to them. Standing up for them in rooms where their stories have long been distorted or, worse, erased. In cities that never sleep, I’ve delivered speeches, stood in courtrooms and classrooms, and walked with men trying to rebuild from broken systems and broken dreams.
But something happens when you step out of the city, when the skyline fades into silos, when the roads stretch wide. In these places, fatherhood programs run thin, and you start to hear a strange kind of silence — one that doesn’t come from absence but from being overlooked.
That’s the story of rural fathers in America.
And it’s why our recent webinar, Supporting Rural Fathers, meant more to me than just another panel discussion. It felt like a homecoming. It felt like truth-telling. And it reminded me why I started Fathers Incorporated in Upstate New York all those years ago — because every father matters, no matter his zip code.
Rural Fathers Are Not Missing—They Are Missed
When we talk about fathers, the dominant narrative orbits cities. Urban policy. Metropolitan data. Inner-city challenges. But I learned early in my work that fatherhood doesn’t look a particular way. I served dads in New York’s Chautauqua County, where cows outnumbered people. I served them in Rochester, Buffalo, and Syracuse. And I saw something many folks miss: Rural fathers carry the same love and pain as urban dads — and the same hunger to be present for their children.
However, they do it with fewer resources. With longer drives. With jobs that disappeared when factories shut down. With no public transit. With no clinics to serve their mental health needs. With a dream of the type of fatherhood they want to practice — but no bridge to get there.
They are not invisible. We just haven’t looked hard enough.
Behind the Policy Curtain: What Data Doesn’t Show
Dr. Maretta McDonald, whose journey from child support enforcement to research gives her a rare dual lens, broke it down with sobering clarity in the Supporting Rural Fathers webinar when she said, “One-size-fits-all policies don’t work, especially when they’re constructed from our urban bias.”
She’s right. So many of our systems — especially child support — were built with the assumption that resources exist nearby. These systems believe that if you’re not paying, it’s because you won’t, not because you can’t. But rural fathers often live where the nearest jobs are 40 miles away, and the bus doesn’t run past the highway.
Dr. McDonald’s research confirmed what I’ve felt for years: Counties with fewer resources often impose harsher penalties. Judges who grew up with these fathers still hand down orders disconnected from their realities. And sometimes, it’s not just about one man — it’s about entire families chipping in to pay child support to avoid jail time.
She reminds us these aren’t just individual struggles. They’re structural realities. And if we want to fix them, we need policies that see fathers as part of families, part of communities, and worthy of investment — not just enforcement.
Breaking Cycles and Rebuilding Lives
Then there’s Marcus Williams in Allegheny County, Pennsylvania, and another webinar guest. Brother’s got six staff, a heart bigger than the region he serves, and a gift for meeting fathers exactly where they are.
Williams came from the system — a former corrections officer raised by a single mom. He knows what it means to see a father through glass and wire. That’s why his work now is so redemptive. He’s not just helping men break cycles — he’s reminding them that the past doesn’t dictate the destination.
In his words, “What you grow up in — that’s not the end game.”
His program in Allegheny County partners with barber shops and churches. His team hosts Pirates games, Disney on Ice trips, and community cookouts with bounce houses and petting zoos. It might sound small, but it’s big. Because many fathers can’t give their kids these experiences without support. In addition to providing access, Williams is restoring dignity.
He also understands the value of hybrid services — Zoom groups, text reminders, and GED classes with childcare built in. He knows that if we want rural fathers to show up, we must create spaces that welcome them and their children.
The Science of Fatherhood and the Lies We Must Unlearn
Dr. Geoffrey Brown comes in with data, but what he really delivers is justice. His research at the University of Georgia has focused on rural Black fathers. They are young, often unmarried, low-income, and too often stereotyped.
What he’s found shatters the myth of the disengaged dad.
“These men are incredibly motivated,” he told us in the webinar. “They want to be involved, even when the world makes it hard.”
He talked about social networks, how rural fathers often have dense, tight-knit webs of support. These networks can either shelter or limit them, depending on how connected they are to outside perspectives.
What struck me most was his insight into prenatal involvement. Geoffrey made it plain: If we don’t engage fathers before the child is born, we’ve already missed the most critical window. Dads want to be there at the ultrasound, at the doctor’s visit, and in the delivery room, but healthcare systems — especially in rural communities — don’t always make space for them.
When you push a father out during pregnancy, don’t be surprised when he feels unwanted after birth. It’s not about apathy. It’s about access. And too many of our systems are denying fathers that access.
Let’s Talk About Us: Providers on the Front Lines
Now let me pivot for a second, not to the fathers, but to the folks serving them.
If you run a program in a rural town, I see you. You wear 10 hats and stretch every dollar, and some days, you’re the only one in the building. You don’t just do fatherhood work — you do miracle work. And that’s why I say this with love and urgency: You cannot do this alone.
We need multi-sector partnerships. Workforce agencies. Mental health providers. Legal aid. Churches. County commissions. Schools. You don’t need to do it all—you just need to know who does what and build a village around these men.
And if the fathers don’t know about a resource? That’s not their failure. That’s our opportunity.
The Tools Are in Our Hands If We Choose to Use Them
COVID showed us what’s possible with the help of technology. Telehealth. Zoom groups. Social media engagement. But it also revealed how far behind our rural infrastructure is. No broadband. Weak cell service. Grandmothers climbing hills to get a signal.
If we’re serious about equity, digital access can’t be optional. It’s fundamental.
Programs like Williams’s are already innovating, blending old-school outreach with modern tech. We need more of that because the message is clear: We don’t have to be in the same room to be in the same fight.
Sustainability: Showing Up When It’s Not Trendy
Finally, I have to talk, as I did in the webinar, about sustainability. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: Fathers don’t just need us when we’re funded. They need us when they’re falling apart. When the grant ends. When the headlines fade.
That’s why at Fathers Incorporated, we’ve diversified. We don’t just chase “fatherhood” grants. We go after workforce, education, mental health, and family wellness dollars, and we bring fathers into the center of the outcome.
We provide fee-for-service services, build partnerships with TANF offices and child support agencies, and stay in touch with city, county, state, and federal leaders.
Because if we want to keep showing up for fathers, we must keep building bridges. No one’s going to save us. We have to save each other.
Rural Dads Are Not Footnotes in the Fatherhood Story
Let me close with this: Rural fathers are not an afterthought. They are not a subpopulation. They are not “hard to reach.” They are part of the backbone of this country, and their love for their children runs just as deep, just as fierce, as any father anywhere.
We need to see them.
We need to serve them.
And we need to stop building systems that assume they don’t exist.
To every rural dad out there: We see you. We honor you. And we’re fighting for you.
And to every person doing the work: Keep going. Because the farther out you go, the closer you get to the soul of fatherhood.
Kenneth Braswell, CEO of Fathers Incorporated, leads efforts to promote responsible fatherhood and strengthen families nationwide. With extensive experience in community development and father engagement, he drives impactful initiatives and policies. Learn more at www.fathersincorporated.com.
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