I met a young man a couple of days ago; just 18 years old. He explained to me how he had just met his father some two weeks before. In his eyes I could see his excitement as he told me that just this past weekend his son turned two years old and he was happy that his own father who he had never seen would get to see his grandson. Well, he did it again. He didn’t show up for the birthday party after promising his son for the past two weeks. I could see as the young man was telling me the story that he was visibly upset. In fact; his entire body language said that he was struggling to contain his anger in front of me. However, he couldn’t hide it, because I know what it looks like. It looked like me at points in my life.
I spoke to him about the need to be focused on what was important; himself and his child. I told him he could call me at any point he felt his emotions were overwhelming him. That the pain he was feeling inside was real and that pieces of it will always be there. However, it should be what makes him stronger in character; not weaker.
Our communities are full of boys carrying around the same level of pain and rage. Yet, they are absent the intervention moment that he and I was fortunate to share. I know that no matter what I say to him, that pain will always be a part of him. While I can’t do much about how he is going to feel about it; I can do some about what he does about it.
We don’t have the luxury of playing the adult game of trying to figure this thing out and then finding time to do something about it. The moment of urgency is NOW! The generational pain of fatherlessness is crippling our boys and girls and in turn, the pain is being transferred to babies how don’t even understand what’s happening to them.
The story of this young man is yet to be told. Yet, we can see how similar scenarios are playing themselves out, right in from of our eyes. My heart is heavy over this issue; because I can still see the pain in that young boy’s face…I was looking at the Man in the Mirror!