By Cathleen Williams
Recently, I attended a college preparation program where college students shared their thoughts and experiences in college with high school students in the audience. One young man, I will call him Mike, mesmerized the crowd when he told his story. Mike is a student at local university, pursuing a dual degree in business and medicine. He is intelligent, mature, responsible and a very respectful young man. He explained to the group that he chose a local university so that he could protect and look out for his single mother.
As he spoke, I could feel the love this young man had for his mother, and how close they are. It was obvious how much she sacrificed for him. I could imagine the many nights she spent worrying about her son, doing everything imaginable to make sure he would not become a statistic. I know she spent hours praying for him, and now that he was on his way to success and academic excellence, he felt responsible for her. He was very proud, I could tell, but he was as focused on his mother’s safety and protection as he was focused on his future.
Men are innately protectors and providers. When it comes to young men, mothers often wonder when this need or desire to protect their families manifest.
If there is no man in the house, it is likely to kick in prematurely, and like Mike many young black men from single female-headed households are forced to grow up before their time. They may not have had a man model the protective behavior at home, but they see it on television; they hear about it in music, they read it in the Bible. They worry about crime, death, peer pressure, gang violence, drugs, girls, self-esteem and their families. They take all this on at a very young age, well before they are emotionally prepared to handle the pressure, and before they are prepared to be the man of the house. If you have ever seen a boy respond when someone disrespects or attempts to hit his mother then you understand what I mean. Most boys will try to fight their own fathers if he hits his mom. Whether they are 14 years old struggling with their grades or 32 married with their own family, many young men feel the pressure of providing for the women they love, including their mothers. They will not ask a struggling single mother for money. Mike was blessed to have the resources and capacity to get into medical school. For those without the same access to education and resources, their choices may lead them down another path. They may drop out of school, sell drugs, and turn to crime, gangs or any number of bad choices in order to provide for themselves and their family; or to drown the pain of an unpleasant existence.
I certainly do not condone the choice to drop out or turn to crime. I do believe that as a society we must reconsider how we are educating our children, and look more seriously at the reason for the choices they make. The obvious problems such as the absence of fathers, male mentors, and quality male teachers must be addressed.
As a nation it is essential that we refuse to accept an epidemic of dropouts among any population of students in the United States, gender, race or nationality notwithstanding. Throwing all black boys in the cesspool of incompetence and ignorance is the easy way out. What we should do is look for ways to shift the paradigm by being on hand to help black boys improve their academic experience from the day they leave the hospital in their mother’s arms.
Stepping in once these young men enter high school is too little much too late. Here are just a few basic suggestions that once implemented can increase the number of African American males who graduate from high school in the United States:
1. First, let’s change our conversation about black boys and education from solely discussing the negative to include what is possible. The negative talk about black boys and the dismal education statistics creates a mindset of failure in young boys, and lowers the expectation of success for the group.
2. Second, It is important that we support fatherhood and mentorship programs, which encourage and support young men who do not have a father in the home.
3. Third, as a community, we can work to set the focus of young black men on college from the time they are in elementary school, guide them, support them and provide the resources necessary to be successful in the lower grades. Doing that we will increase the numbers of black men who graduate from high school, and thereby increase the number who are prepared to enter college.
4. Fourth, make it lucrative and inviting for qualified young men who graduate from college to become teachers. Boys need to see men in the classroom.
5. Fifth and finally, I encourage anyone reading this article to find a young man, whether he is your child or not, and encourage him to go to college. To go to college he has to graduate from high school with the right type of diploma. Not every diploma will get you into college and the local/GED diplomas may not be accepted for college admission or certain employment positions. These diplomas are disproportionately issued to young black men. The national average of high school dropouts among black men is unacceptable and it has to change. It can change. As a society we can change the numbers, yes we can.